


I Love You. Even Now.

by Sorelion (Miakiii)



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternative First Meeting, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Stephen Strange, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, POV Stephen Strange, POV Tony Stark, Pre-Doctor Strange (2016), Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Stephen Strange-centric, The second chapter is Tony's POV, Tony Stark-centric, Vignettes, fandom trope: stephen strange in the MCU movies before dr. strange, just the first part tbh, lmao we all know that he annoys Dormammu at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 00:43:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miakiii/pseuds/Sorelion
Summary: Stephen Strange met one Tony Stark in a party that he usually skips. Something sparks in him that grows with each phone call until it forms into something he doesn't want to admit.(AKA Stephen Strange in pre-Doctor Strange movies and his stubbornness to apologize and admit his mistakes causes him to lose time he could have used to get to know Tony more)





	1. To Protect

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, I come bearing with some less angst and more of a hopeful ending!!! Special thanks to [lostinyouruniverse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinyouruniverse) for beta-ing this small vignette series! Unfortunately, since it didn't start in media res, it doesn't belong in that series haahasjhdfbkj This is the cleaned up version from the Tumblr preview I had (complete with the modified name as well) and if you want more of my really short drabbles/uncleaned fresh out the oven fics, please head on over to my [tumblr!!!](https://sorelionn.tumblr.com/) Anyway, enjoy this thing!!!

He met Anthony Edward Stark in one of those high-end parties that he used to casually dismiss with a wave of his hand. Normally, he skips them all together, claiming that he has no time for them. When he finally does attend, the first thing his mind pointed at is the pleasant voice of someone laughing. Ocean blue eyes looked at the source with disinterest, at first, but he hears the utter _genius_ behind every spoken word and soon enough, Stephen could feel the first stirring signs of _something_ awaken in him. Interest? Affection? _Admiration?_

He catches a glimpse of those wonderful whiskey eyes and the neurosurgeon knew that it was the start of _something_ when the genius struts towards his direction with a glass of champagne on his right hand. The night ended young and with far less clothing on than what Stephen could be bothered to remember.

* * *

There were calls, texts, random meet ups, and Stephen surely feels like he is in high school all over again. It isn’t a frequent get together, as the two men are far too busy with their respective careers to pester the other with something as mundane as a casual hello. Sometimes, they’d schedule a date, a meet up, and the night ends with them either in bed alone or together. Sometimes, they’d cancel half way through, which left Stephen in a disappointed mush (though he won’t admit it, not even in the face of death).

The doctor remembers hearing the news about Afghanistan and while Stephen tries to play off their relationship as something casual, it doesn’t stop him from picking up a phone and immediately begin firing questions at the billionaire’s condition.

“Listen Stephen, I’m _fine._ A bit bruised and banged up, but my face is as good as ever, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He doesn’t remember what biting and cutting remark he said at that time but he remembers the utter humiliation he felt when Stark implied that he was only with him for his _looks_ . He deletes his phone number (which is useless, that blasted number is seared in his memory no matter how many times he changes his own) and blocks the name _Tony Stark_ from his life. He does it despite the number of times he is tempted to pick up the phone and apologize and reconnect.

He has his wounded pride to care for, after all.

* * *

One day, he receives a casual electronic invite to the upcoming Stark Expo. He checks his schedule and sees that it lands on a free day.

He still deletes the invite and calls up Christine to request for more cases on the day of the Expo. Later, when he learns that there were explosions and injured attendees in the aftermath, the doctor sighs in relief and praises himself for his foresight.

Still, it doesn't stop the longing and worry towards a certain genius.

* * *

Stephen Strange will never forget the Battle of New York. He remembers forgoing his usual principles of picking the most interesting cases. A nightmare doesn’t even begin to cover just how terrifying it is to be in charge of a hundred lives simultaneously. Stephen remembers hearing some heart monitors just flat-rate and a whole flurry of activity he can’t seem to properly compartmentalize. At that moment, he knows his ‘perfect record’ didn’t matter, because how could he think of that when a child is asking him why her dad isn’t moving or breathing?

However, nothing could ever compare to the sheer dread that washed over him when he saw Tony Stark-- _Iron Man_ \-- fly a goddamned nuke into a portal. Suddenly, the world narrows down and he grips his phone while pacing uncomfortably on one of the deserted hallways. When he hears the voicemail patch through, his chest both stutters in relief and disappointment. He stumbles through his words, not quite sure how to apologize or if he even has to ( _his stupid, untamed pride once again stopping him)_ and at the end, he just stops for a solid minute and decides it was more than enough.

_“Listen, Tony. I just... I saw what happened and--Are you alright? No, stupid question. You’ll just deflect and move on. But I have to know if you’re at least in stable enough condition. I--I hope you are fine...”_

* * *

He doesn’t receive a reply or a call back. Of course he doesn’t. He wasn’t worth Stark’s time anymore, not with the shiny new boy band super hero group he’s invested in.

Stephen grumbles to himself bitterly, as he silently mourns the lost _something_ between him and the genius billionaire.

* * *

The neurosurgeon pats himself on the back when he sees the news of Stark challenging terrorists and he doesn’t automatically reach for his phone.

His heart screams at him, however, and after two dozen unsent voice mails, he hides his phone under his pillows.

He dreams of whiskey eyes and a bright smile.

* * *

A few months later, he woke up at around eight in the morning, feeling like a truck ran over him. It was a long night shift at the hospital and he barely got four hours of sleep before being woken up by something--

Stephen reaches for his phone to see that he has a new voicemail from an unsaved number.

It’s a number he knows all too well.

He tries not to be giddy or excited but the shaking in his hands betray his stoic face. He taps the message to hear a voice he hasn’t heard address him directly since that fateful phone call.

_“Hey, uh, Stephen. I know you probably don’t want to hear me or talk to me but... I just found some really alarming info and I wanted to know if you’re alive. I’m sorry for, uh, not replying back but it was good to hear from you. Thanks. For the check up, I mean._

_Look just. Stay safe. I know you’ll be fine but I worry. The world is changing far too fast and far too much for my comfort.”_

Stephen goes to work tired, but satisfied. He doesn’t reply back, but he keeps the message, and lets the other man’s voice linger at the back of his head.

* * *

He remembers the day that Metro General was swamped with injured folks from Sokovia. They were refugees, and a lot of the neighboring hospitals don’t have the room to take all of them. At one point, he hears one of the nurses gossip about _Tony Stark_ and a murdering robot. He doesn’t know why or what compelling force made him do it ( **_lies_ ** _, he knows exactly what)_ but he berates the nurse for wasting time gossiping rather than doing their job.

And if at one point he ends up arguing with West about Stark and the so-called murdering bots (”Really, West? A couple of teenagers tell you that Stark is the root of all evil and suddenly you’re condemning him? What are you, twelve?”) then, well, there’s nothing more to it than calling out your colleague for being too gullible and all too gung-ho at placing the blame on a man he hasn’t even met.

( _How many times does he have to_ **_lie_ ** _?)_

* * *

He briefly remembers hearing about a superhero civil war, of Iron Man and Captain America fighting.

He doesn’t care though ( _it's been years and he’s still_ **_lying_ ** ) not when his entire career, his _hands_ are messed up. He’s got a plan though, one involving Nepal and a cult (what else do you call the description Jonathan told him about).

Maybe he’ll never see the light of day after that. Maybe he’s a hopeless case. Maybe he won’t get to see and apologize personally to Tony Stark ever again.

So for one last time, he types in the number he remembers by heart with his shaky hands and finally, he stops **lying**.

_“Tony. I’m sorry. For all these years, for leaving you behind because of my stupid pride. I know you didn’t mean it. I know you’ve become a better person, that you’ve changed for the better._

_I’m... happy for you. I hope you found someone willing to stand by you, someone who could be your equal in everything. I know I’ve had several chances, and I wasted it._

_I love you. Even now._

_Goodbye.”_

* * *

He sells his phone and uses that last bit of money to begin his journey to visit this Ancient One.

* * *

For a second, Stephen Strange lets himself _think_. He came here to Kamar-Taj to heal his hands, not to be a protector of the planet.

Honestly, the Ancient One puts too much faith in him. He’s already pushed away the ones he loved and hurt them so much, how could he be expected to protect their reality?

Without realizing, his thoughts drifted to his last message, the one that he realizes he would never actually know if the other man heard it or replied back.

“What do you fight for, Mister Strange?”

_“I love you. Even now.”_

**_Boom, boom, woosh._ **

Ocean blue eyes glared at the zealots and without any other word, he fights to protect the man he loves.

* * *

This is it. It’s been a long journey, of denial and pain but he's finally going to reconnect. He rings the doorbell and waits impatiently at the front door. It opens to reveal a gorgeous man with whiskey colored eyes and a smile that seem to brighten up the world.

"Tony... I'm here." He's been wanting to say those words for so long and finally being able to nearly made his eyes tear up. The other man smiled warmly at him even though he knows that he doesn’t deserve it. He’ll take it however, like a starving man finally being given a feast for his return.

However, the words that come out of Tony’s mouth gave him a shock of realization.

_"No Stephen. Not yet. So please, wake up."_

* * *

Stephen wakes up to darkness and nothingness and for once, he wishes that he never did. The Eye of Agamotto rests on his neck, the responsibility weighs him down, and green bands of time weave around his hands. He ushers the Cloak around him to drop him off at the very same spot as before, uttering the same words for the thousandth time already.

**_"Dormammu, I've come to bargain!"_ **

_“I love you. Even now.”_

He’ll fight to protect him, _whatever it takes._


	2. Goodbye.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark looks back and finds himself wishing that he hadn't wasted his time denying the _something_ that formed between him and the doctor. Hopefully, it's not yet too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [lostinyouruniverse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinyouruniverse) once again for reading over this hot mess!!! Finally, the Tony POV that nobody asked for (okay maybe one) now out and about!!!
> 
> And due to popular(????????) demand, a sequel that might span IW (or just completely railroad it lmao) is in the works!!! Thank you sosososo very much for the support!!!

The cold, Tony realizes, is truly terrifying. He sits upright against a wall, taking deep and steady breaths as he waits for FRIDAY to reconnect from his backup servers. The injured man tries not to assess the damage on his chest, but as he stares at the puff of cold air he exhales, it becomes harder and harder not to look down. Maybe because the genius lack sleep or his mind is muddled from the exhausting fight but he swears he hears a familiar baritone berate and lecture him on the importance of his health.

_'Stephen...'_

The billionaire barks out a harsh laugh, remembering his failure to keep another relationship afloat. He remembers their brief time together, the casual dates and sometimes sex. At that time, he failed to realize that maybe the doctor had liked him more than what he lets on.

And then he messed it up, as usual.

 _'Couldn't keep my damn mouth shut for that one.'_ Tony knew that he mucked everything up when those words streamed out of his mouth. The neurosurgeon's pride is as complex as his own, of course he knows when he’s stepped out of line.

He’s tried to make amends, had extended an olive branch in the form of an invitation. Stephen didn't arrive, of course, but in hindsight, Tony was relieved he didn't come. Especially with the aftermath of the entire Expo.

The genius coughs and shivers, bringing him back to the current predicament. He hears the boot up for FRIDAY's systems start in his suit and he sighs in relief, knowing he'll be out of danger soon.

The Avengers. Broken. _Toast_. He bites back another laugh, remembering how naive he was back then. A superhero boy band group, something very much new and refreshing to look forward to. At that time, he focused all his efforts into building up the team, momentarily forgetting about the man with ocean blue eyes and wit as sharp as his own.

Then JARVIS informed him of a message left behind by the owner of said eyes.

Suddenly a whole wave of emotions threatened to spill out. He missed Stephen, he really did, and hearing his worried, anxious voice just opened a bigger void in his heart. He didn’t know how to reply to it, to tell him he’s sorry, to ask if he’s still angry.

So like the coward he is, he keeps the message close but doesn’t reply. He plays it whenever he has nightmares of Afghanistan, _of the portal._

For a brief second he nearly falls asleep and he knows it would be fatal ( _“Hypothermia” whispers a familiar smooth baritone voice_ ) if he allows himself to sleep. He checks FRIDAY’s status and sees the glaring fifty-three percent glowing at the bottom of his HUD. He lets out a tired sigh as he racks his brain for something stimulating to pass the time.

_’Project Insight’_

That was all what he needed to feel the familiar surge of anger rise into him once more. HYDRA had dared to target Stephen for his brilliance and Tony remembers the awful cold dread wash over him when he saw the doctor’s portrait and file unravel before him. It was one thing to target the Hulk - Tony knew that HYDRA was recruiting powerful superhumans - but a civilian who just happened to be a talented doctor?

It took all the engineer had to stop himself from suiting up and begin blowing up HYDRA bases on his own.

He remembers immediately calling Stephen just to make sure he was fine. It didn’t matter if his sorry excuse of a message landed in his voicemail, hell, the doctor didn’t even have to reply. He just needed to open the message and allow JARVIS to check that he’s still there, alive and whole. Tony nearly collapsed in relief when JARVIS informs him that the neurosurgeon is well and has read the message. He lets his hands cradle his head for a few minutes, relishing in the knowledge that his love is safe--

**_’Love…!’_ **

Tony jolts from his memories, as he sees the bright ninety-nine percent light up before hearing FRIDAY’s cheery voice greeting him. He closes his eyes, letting the spike of realization calm down before addressing FRIDAY and giving her instructions. He lets the AI take control and send out emergency distress calls on her own as his mind finally takes time to comprehend the wild epiphany he just had.

“... Damnit, did it really took me this long…” The armored man mutters to himself, feeling the lost time between the two of them slowly creep up to him. He should have known, really, and looking back at it, he acted like a pining teenager sulking over a crush. He couldn’t help but curse at his denseness, at his stubborn denial for years.

He and Stephen lost years trying to deny whatever love formed between them.

Suddenly, his musing is cut off by FRIDAY’s sudden inquiry.

“Boss, you have one voicemail from Stephen Strange.”

“Shit--! Friday, play it.” Dread forms at the pit of his stomach at the unexpected call from his newly-realized old love. Tony knows Stephen won’t call for casual chatter, they have long left that kind of interaction behind. Upon hearing the defeated and resigned voice he knows all too well, panic surged from the depths of his heart.

**_“Tony. I’m sorry. For all these years, for leaving you behind because of my stupid pride. I know you didn’t mean it. I know you’ve become a better person, that you’ve changed for the better._ **

**_I’m... happy for you. I hope you found someone willing to stand by you, someone who could be your equal in everything. I know I’ve had several chances, and I wasted it._ **

**_I love you. Even now._ **

**_Goodbye.”_ **

“No… no, no, no--” Whiskey eyes widened at the implication, as he tries to stand up despite FRIDAY’s warnings. He can’t stay here, Stephen needs him. He’s been so focused on the Accords and clean up and everything that he never had time to check up on what the doctor was up to. He couldn’t even be happy at the mutual feelings being reciprocated.

How could he when there is a possibility that this is his love’s final message...

“F-Friday, w-what’s Stephen’s s-status.”

“I suggest you sit down for this, Boss.”

FRIDAY pulls up various articles about a car crash, broken hands, and one seriously injured neurosurgeon… or ex-neurosurgeon, as the media pointed out. In every picture he saw of the doctor’s accident, he couldn’t help but let out a small gasp. It was a miracle that he even survived such a wreckage. Every new article he reads is another strike at his heart and Tony wonders if this is all just a dream and if he’s actually still being beaten down with Rogers’ shield.

The last article, published just a few days ago, notes that all public records and funds of Stephen had been either closed or withdrawn. The man disappeared and has yet to be seen in broad daylight.

**_“Goodbye.”_ **

Tony grits his teeth, refusing to let the tears flow. He refuses to acknowledge that his Stephen is--

“Boss, the medics will arrive in a few more minutes. Please stay at your current location.”

He barely remembers it when he was saved from the cold depths of Siberia. He responds to Pepper and Rhodey’s attempts to talk to him with non-committal answers and one-liners. His mind hardly registers the surgeries and the mini reactor casing being placed back in his chest once again. He couldn’t help but focus solely on Stephen’s message and his overdue confession.

So God help him, the moment he sees that man with gorgeous blue eyes once again, he’s not letting him out of his sight. They’ve wasted enough precious moments already and Tony thinks that they need to catch up on lost time.

Determination and fire slowly burnt within him as he finally utters the first few words he’s said since before his surgery.

“Pep. Rhodey. Help me… search for… Stephen Strange.”

**_“Goodbye.”_ **

He’ll find him and stay by his side, _whatever it takes._

**Author's Note:**

> Turtle: GIMME THE RECONNECT FIC??!?!??!!??  
> Me: *sweating nervously* umMM OKAY SEE ABOUT THAT--
> 
> ahhAHHA I didn't plan that far ahead asdfjghkl


End file.
